I just recently finished reading Consoling the Heart of Jesus, a “weekend” retreat based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. Let’s just say it took me a lot longer than a weekend to complete, but it was pretty powerful nonetheless. I closed the book with a deeper understanding of the importance of a close relationship with Jesus, and why He actually needs me too.
In this book, Father Michael Gaitley writes several times that Jesus longs for us to know that “all I want is for you to be my friend. all I want is for you to not be afraid of me and to come to me” (165). Sounds easy enough right? Yet, many of us, myself included, do not always let Jesus in on our struggles, emotions, even our joys. But why? Why is it so hard to just simply accept God’s love and mercy towards us? Maybe we think that we can face and overcome obstacles on our own, and don’t acknowledge that God and Jesus are walking right beside us, sharing this burden with us.
Over and over, God presents us with opportunities to accept His divine mercy, even if we have said no before. I thought about this a few weeks ago as I was watching my three-year-old nephew playing outside. He was playing with my old Little Tikes toy that sprung a plastic baseball into the air at the push of a button. Numerous times he would swing his bat, and though he did hit quite a few, many times he missed the ball. Despite these setbacks, his determination amazed me. He would run around the yard collecting the scattered baseballs, proclaiming to me that he was going to try again. I made a parallel between his unfading determination to hit a baseball to God’s inviting us into His loving embraces; neither would be deterred. That is until the sun began to set and we had to put the baseball game away 😉
The second appendix of Fr. Gaitley’s book is comprised of excerpts from St. Faustina’s diary. She too questioned why it is we do not believe or accept the love of Jesus and his Father. She wrote, “how can He convince us of His love if even His death cannot convince us?” (263). This powerful statement struck a chord with me; it made me evaluate my level of acceptance and trust in Jesus and God’s love and mercy. If God loving me so much made Him send His only son to die for me, why wasn’t I abounding in gratitude and love for Him?
It was time for me to decide for myself to truly accept God’s love and mercy and to place my full trust in Him. Is it time for you to say “yes” too?
You will give Me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace. – Diary of St Faustina (291)
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